Wake Up With Adele Exarchopoulos

French actress best known for starring in the French lesbian film, "Blue Is The Warmest Color".  Not gonna say there are many lesbian sex scenes in the film, but definitely not gonna say there aren't.

Don't Worry The U.S. Federal Government Has A Zombie Apocalypse Plan

CNBC - Fans of "The Walking Dead" can breathe a sigh of relief. The U.S. federal government has a contingency plan in the unlikely event zombies were to overrun the country.

According to a report in Foreign Policy magazine, the Defense Department — with a 2014 budget of more than $500 billion—maintains a disaster preparation document called "CONOP 8888," which in fact is a zombie survival plan. It was developed to train commanders in the art of strategizing for a catastrophe.

Foreign Policy bills it as a "how to guide for military planners" trying to save the population from an onslaught of the undead.

The zombie offensive is part of what the DoD calls "fictional contingency planning guidance" that asks military commanders to come up with a blueprint to "preserve non-zombie humans from the threat posed by a zombie horde," Foreign Policy reported, citing an unclassified Pentagon document.

Without a hint of irony, DoD calls the plan "Counter-Zombie Dominance," and added in the disclaimer section that "this plan was not actually designed as a joke." The "worst case threat scenario," according to the plan, would be high "transmissibility," —legions of the undead infecting humans rapidly, with little way to counter rapidly multiplying hordes of zombies.

According to Foreign Policy, military strategists assigned to Omaha's U.S. Strategic Command wrote the document in April 2011, as part of game plan to protect citizens against any kind of threat.

"Planners ... realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan," the plan's authors wrote.

They added that "we elected to use a completely-impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan."

A spokesperson for U.S. Strategic Command distanced the Pentagon from the document, telling Foreign Policy in a statement that the zombie plan was merely a "training tool" that uses a "fictional training scenario. This document is not a U.S. Strategic Command plan."

Is this a fucking joke?  I haven't watched a minute of "The Walking Dead" but I know many people are obsessed with the show.  However, I was under the impression that these people realized that it was a fictional show and zombies aren't a real thing.  Am i just being really naive here?  Do these people think zombies are actually gonna rise from the ground?  Because after finding out the government has spent real time and real money producing a plan for what to do when zombies attack I'm starting to think people really believe.  I thought there were just a few wackos out there that spent their life's savings on zombie shelters, but wow was I wrong.  I don't have a zombie shelter and quite frankly I don't know a fucking thing about zombies.  Shit I am fucked.


PS - Oh wait no I'm not because Zombies aren't even a real thing.  

Wake Up With Lais Ribeiro

Ho-hum just another Brazilian smoke that absolutely murders lingerie.

Chinese Woman Finds Condom In Her Calamari

Daily News - A Chinese diner who thought her calamari was too chewy was disgusted to find out it was actually a condom.  Mai Liang was halfway through her seafood-dish at an Anhui province restaurant when she discovered the "rubbery" ring was actually a rubber.  "Imagine my horror when I turned it over with my fork and it turned out to be a contraceptive," she told Metro.  "It was disgusting. My first horrific thought was: Is it used?" she told Metro.  Sickened to her stomach, she complained to staff.

Boss Yi Ze Teng arrived and angrily accused her of planting the prophylactic in her food to get a free meal.

Teng then reportedly said that she would eat the condom if they left the matter. And she did.

Liang said she was now talking to lawyers and may sue the restaurant.

Gotta love it when your calamari seems just a little bit too chewy because its not calamari but a condom.  Obviously it is fucking gross when that happens but if you are the customer here there is no way you can sue the restaurant.  Complete bullshit.  When you tell the restaurant owner that you would drop it if they ate the condom, then you got to back it up.  I know she probably never imagined that the restaurant owner would actually eat the condom but in a shocking turn of events that is exactly what she did.  You just can't start talking to lawyers in an attempt to sue now, there is just no way.

Conceptual Drawings For Braves New Stadium Released

ajc - The Atlanta Braves released on Wednesday conceptual drawings of their planned 41,000-plus seat Cobb County Stadium.

The images show a stadium with three main decks, including a split upper deck, and a broad sun canopy that’s about three times the size of the overhang at Turner Field. The drawings also provide a glimpse at the design concepts behind the $400 million mixed-use complex to sit around the ballpark.

“This is a very early look at how our vision is shaping up and, even though we are still months away from final plans and drawings, we are very pleased with the progress,” said Braves President John Schuerholz, said in a news release. “The renderings represent the sense of place we intend to create 365 days a year in addition to a world-class ballpark.”

The Braves announced in November their intention to move to Cobb into a new $622 million stadium for the 2017 season. The team also plans to open the first phase of its surrounding mixed-use project, a blend of bars, shops, restaurants, office space, hotels and residences, in 2017 with full completion slated for 2019.

The stadium will have a seating bowl closer to the diamond, Braves officials said.

Derek Schiller, the Braves head of marketing, told reporters in a conference call that the ballpark will be oriented to the southwest. It’s not a typical ballpark layout – given the position of the sun in late afternoon hours and the view for fans and players at-bat.

But Schiller said there are a handful of other stadiums with a similar orientation, and the team and its designers have performed sun studies that have dismissed concerns about the issue. But a listing of ballparks on the Baseball Almanac website did not show any major league stadiums that point west or southwest.

Unlike Turner Field, the stadium also will likely have more character in its outfield. Rather than a curved outfield wall, Schiller said the team is looking at other arrangements with more defined power alleys.

He said, however, that he wouldn’t label the new stadium a hitter’s ballpark, and that the new venue will likely retain Turner Field’s reputation as a more pitcher-friendly field.

The renderings also show green space and a small lake of about 1-to 1.5 acres that will be a prominent feature on the site.

So the Braves released the conceptual drawings for the Cobb County Stadium set to open in 2017.

What I Like

-The new ballpark will hold 41,000 people, about 8,000 less people than Turner Field which  is good because the TED looks empty on most nights.
-The stadium looks fucking awesome and apparently there are more seats closer to the field.
-I dont know why but there is something about the mini lake that I really like.
-I suppose hotels, stores and bars surrounding the stadium will be much nicer than the area surrounding Turner Field which is nothing.

Concerns

-The new Stadium is being built in an area that already has ridiculous traffic problems so I don't imagine a 41,000 seat ballpark is gonna help that situation.

-Currently at Turner Field the parking lots are one huge tailgating party where I am drinking beers that cost less than a dollar.  Are the only pre-gaming options at the new ballpark gonna be the bars around the stadium where beers will probably be $5 plus?
-Finally the most shocking thing about this design to me is that the stadium is gonna be facing to the southwest.  Who the fuck came up with this idea?  Oh they have preformed "sun studies" and there are other stadiums with this orientation.  There are no ballparks in the big leagues that face to the southwest so what stadiums are you talking about?  Your sons fucking little league field?  It just seems dumb to me to point a ballpark in the direction the sun sets but maybe thats just me.

Guess That Rack

And the answer is Mythix.  Not really sure who she is but she likes to take instagram selfies and thats good enough for me. 

Angelina Jolie Looking Damn Fine At "The Normal Heart" Premiere

Someone needs to tell Angelina Jolie that if you are gonna join in on a little cocaine fun before the premiere of The Normal Heart you should make sure it goes up your nose and not all over your face.

Apparently this is some sort of makeup powder that celebrities often use that is undetectable in person, but shows up to the flash of a camera.  Not sure its something I would use when you are going to be at a movie premier on the arm of Brad Pitt.  Probably won't be any cameras there or anything. 

Turns out this has happened to other celebrities before including the likes of Miley Cyrus and Nicole Kidman.

Update - The white powder all over Angelina Jolie's face was due to a "rookie mistake" from her makeup artist.  Im gonna go ahead and assume that this makeup artists stint in the big leagues doesn't last long.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Woman Who Had Her Neighbors Home Bulldozed Because She Thought They Were "Unsavory"

USA Today   A Florida woman didn't like the people living next door — so she had their mobile home demolished, St. Augustine authorities said.

Ana Maria Moreta Folch, 62, was charged with felony criminal mischief. The St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said she duped a contractor into bulldozing the trailer owned by Maria Gottfried, who showed up Monday to witness the $25,000 wreckage, The Florida-Times Union reported.

Moreta Folch told the contractor she owned the trailer and wanted the septic tank destroyed, the arrest report stated. She entered with a key and said no one was living there.

Amid the razing, Gottfried arrived and called the sheriff.

The Times-Union writes that the arrest report stated Moreta Folch had the trailer demolished "because people who had lived there were unsavory and she suspected they had broken into her car."

She considered the destruction "a favor to her neighborhood," according to the report.

Gottfried said she and her husband had owned the mobile home since 2006, had never had a dispute with Moreta Folch and had never given her a key.

Moreta Folch was released Wednesday on $10,000 bail.



Talk about sending a message to the neighbors with a big time power move.  She thought her neighbors were "unsavory" and she "suspects" that they broke into her car.  Most people might react in this situation with a simple flaming bag of dog shit prank or slapping an offensive bumper sticker on their vehicle, but not Ana Maria.  Ana Maria goes straight to the hiring a contractor to bulldoze the neighbors trailer.  I mean before you completely destroy your neighbors home you should probably at least "know " they are stealing form your car.  But no she didn't need any evidence.  Such an incredible overreaction on her part that you kind of have to respect it.

Chattahoochee River Turning Into A Morgue

ajc -  Authorities have identified a woman whose body was found along the Chattahoochee River.

Roswell police spokeswoman Lisa Holland tells the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (http://bit.ly/1nFDyr0 ) 20-year-old Markiesha Taylor of Decatur was found Sunday afternoon on the banks of Vickery Creek Park, part of the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area. Holland says the FBI was called to investigate because Taylor's body was found on property owned by the federal government.

Taylor's cause of death is unclear.

Two other bodies were also recovered from the river earlier this month.

Authorities say 56-year-old Gee Hang of Johns Creek was pulled from the river May 3 after she drowned. Two days later, 34-year-old Perfecto Ochoa Alvarado was found dead in the river near Austell. His death was ruled a homicide and remains under investigation.

Well isn't this just fucking great.  The third dead body found along the Chattahoochee in less than two weeks.  I plan on spending a great deal of this summer floating down the Hooch drinking beer in an inflatable tube.  It seems like such a great way to spend the day when its fucking 95 degrees and all you have to worry about is the occasional snake.  Floating down the river just doesn't seem like as good an idea when there is a decent chance you will roll up on dead body.  Fuck that.  There are plenty of abandoned buildings and wooded areas to dump a dead body.  You don't need to dump it where people do their relaxing and beer drinking.  

Wake Up With Sylvie Meis (Previously Sylvie van der Vaart)

Newly single after her divorce from soccer player Rafael van der Vaart.  Really doesn't matter that she is newly single as none of us have a chance but this Dutch TV personality and model is nice to look at.

Oh by the way any hot chick that walks around in a shirt that says "Bitch" becomes instantly hotter.